Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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