I heard we made out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
