I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
