ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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