hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
