WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
