I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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