These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
