She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
