it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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