she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
