Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
