even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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