We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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