She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
