There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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