oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That's intense
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize