he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
