What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
