Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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