you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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