I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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