every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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