Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
