Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
