She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
