whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this boner is exhausting
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
