YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
