He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
