Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
