The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
