i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
