white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
