We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
