drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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