just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
