Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize