she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This is my gift to your gina
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
