i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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