I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
