if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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