what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She announced her abortion via fbk
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
