Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
