so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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