he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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