just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
