One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize