No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
