Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you still have your period?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
