his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
