at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is the high leading the old right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
