i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
