3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
