I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize