Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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