some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
