Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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