Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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