Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
