Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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