Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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