The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
