I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
