trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
